Sometimes things that seem clear to us adults are so incredibly blurry to little ones. Even when we explain it multiple times over, it just doesn't sink in to that little developing brain that has so many things going on. As a parent, this can get super frustrating because you're constantly repeating yourself multiple times over. I'm sure you, just like me, only want to say things one time and then see action. And that can happen, but it's not the child that needs to adjust....it's you and me.
The fact is that kids learn differently and that they absorb information at different rates. While my household does have two kids the same age, most households have varying ages of children and we have to cater to each of those ages to really get our message across. For example, getting ready in the morning...this can be a BIG ordeal in my house even though the kids have woken up hundreds of times and done the exact same routine. Yet most mornings, we end up trying to walk out of the house and 2 of the 3 missed brushing their teeth, or have mismatched socks on, or can't find their coat. Can you relate?
if you're not on your child's level when talking to them, it's all just background noise....
This was a hard one for me...I used to take it so personal that they chose to listen to other things instead of me. So I decided to do a little experiment that I heard about to see if they really were defying me or if they legit weren't hearing me.
Here's How It Went:
The first attempt in asking my kid to unload the dishwasher, I did what I normally did, stood across the room in the kitchen talking loud enough so I could be heard where he was in the living room while I multi-tasked something on my own. The same outcome happened (no surprise here)...the words went through the room and jumped over my child's ears!!
The second attempt in asking my kid to do the same thing, I walked over to him, crouched down enough to be eye level with him (this got his attention quickly), then I asked him to do the same exact thing I asked the first time, but I was more soft spoken because he could see I was communicating with him and I was right in front of him. Guess what...it worked! He literally went to go unload the dishwasher as soon as I was done asking him to do it.
I was in shock. Couldn't believe it. But thinking back, I shouldn't have been in shock, that's who I would want someone to communicate with me and probably would have not taken a moment to try and hear something from another room either.
So in my case, instead of getting frustrated that my children seemed to forget how to get ready every morning, I spent time with each focusing on what THEY needed in order to remember to do all the things.
So I challenge you this...
The Next time you ask your child to do something, think about how you would want that information communicated to you...
Try this instead:
*This helps ensure you are physically and verbally connecting with them.
*This also helps remove the dictator lens and all the distractions.
*You're right in front of the child, they know you are talking to them, no need to be loud while in their face.
*This ensures they understand.
*This also establishes a connection between you and the child from a perspective of understanding.
